Like some people, I save fortunes from fortune cookies.  Here are the 
ones I think are the most interesting/funny, and therefore bothered to 
save.  Many of them are funny with "in bed" or "Between the sheets" 
added somewhere.

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A chance meeting with someone from the past is in store
A friend asks only for you time, not your money.
A good time to finish up old tasks.
A good time to start something new.
A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance.
A perfect statue never comes from a bad mold.
A pleasant surprise is in store for you.
A single kind word will keep one warm for minutes
A thrilling time is in your immediate future.
Accept the next proposition you hear.
Adjust your finances, make budgets, to improve your standing.
All your hard work will soon pay off.
Among the lucky you the chosen one
An empty stomach is not a good political advisor.
Apply yourself to the basics and progress will follow
Appraise your current possessions to see if you can't repair them or utilize them differently
Avert misunderstanding by calm, poise, and balance.
Avoid decisions and you avoid life.
Be direct, usually one can accomplish more that way.
Be moderate where pleasure is concerned, avoid fatigue.
Beauty in its various forms apeals to you.
Behind an able man, ther are always other able men.
Behind bad luck comes good luck.
Behind every sucessful man is a surprised mother-in-law!
Being faithful to a trust brings its own reward.
Birds are entangled by their feet, and men by their toungs.
Cooperate with those who have both know-how and integrity.
Depart not from the path which fate has you assigned.
Diligence is the mother of good fortune.
Don't be afraid to take that big step
Don't be hasty; prosperity will knock on your door soon.
Don't be overly suspicious where it's not warranted.
Don't put off till tomorow what can be enjoyed today.
Don't wait.
Enjoy what you have, hope for what you lack.
Everything will now come your way.
Follow your instinct
From now on your kindness will lead you to sucess.
Good news of a long-awaited event will arive soon
Good news will be brought to you by mail.
Good news will come to you from far away.
Good things are being said about you.
Hell is paved with good intentions.
Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.
I know of no way of judging the future but by the past.
If you continually give you will continually have.
If you look in the right places, you can find some good offerings.
If you want to get a sure crop with a big yield, sow wild oats.
If you wish to, you will have an opportunity.
It is better to deal with problems before they arise.
It's a good thing that life is not as serious as it seems to the waiter.
Keep your face to the sunshine and you will never see the shaddows.
Let your instincts guide you.
More pineapple, please
Nothing in the world is accomplished without passion
Now is the time to try something new.
One must kiss a few frogs before prince Charming comes along!
Opportunities surround you if you know where to look.
Our first and last love is self love.
Our necessities are few, but our wants are endless.
Patience is the key to joy
People find it difficult to resist your persuasive maner.
People in you background will be more co-operative than usual.
People who don't know where they're going usually end up somewhere else.
Place special emphasis on old friendships
Plan for many pleasures ahead
Please follow more carefully life's Golden Rule.
Sell your ideas, they are totally acceptable.
Share your happiness with others today.
Show your love and your love will be returned.
Simplicity and clarity should be your theme in dress.
Smile when you are ready
Someone is speaking well of you.
Stick to things as they are; distrust novelties.
Stop searching forever, hapiness is right next to you.
The best exercize for the heart is to reach down and help others up.
The best prophet of the future is the past.
The current year will bring you much happiness.
The important thing is to express yourself.
The laws sometimes sleep, but never die.
The luck that is ordained for you will be coveted by others.
The night life is for you.
The only to have a friend is to be one.
The treasures of life are hidden in the rain forest.
There is a prospect of a thrilling time ahead for you.
Think Big and you are sure to win.
This is the month when ingenuity lands high on the list.
Tomorrow will be an extraordinary day for you!
Versatility is important.  Explore your options.
What have hou done with your life?
When winter comes heaven will rain sucess on you.
You are a capable competent creative and carful person
You are a person of culture.
You are broad minded and socially active.
You are capable of greater things than you realize
You are careful and systematic in your business arrangements.
You are cautious in showing your true self to others.
You are demonstrative with those you love.
You are generous to an extreme and always think of the other fellow.
You are gifted in many ways.
You are going to have some new clothes.
You are heading for a land of sunshine!
You are heading in the right direction.
You are never bitter, deceptive or petty.
You are never selfish with your advice or your help.
You are soon going to change your present line of work.
You are talented in many ways.
You are the center of every group's attention.
You are the master of every situation.
You believe in the goodness of mankind.
You can breeze through most of the day.
You cannot demonstrate an emotion or prove an asperation.
You could prosper in the field of medical recearch.
You find pleasure in your own company and rely on your own mind to occupy you.
You have a consciene that is the gift of god
You have a curious smile and a mysterious nature.
You have a deep appreciation of the arts and music.
You have a potential urge and the ability for accomplishment. 
You have a reputation for being straightforward and honest.
You have a very magnetic personality which could lead to trouble.
You have an ability to sense and know higher truth.
You have an ambitious nature and may make a name for yourself.
You have an important new buisness development shaping up.
You have an unusally magnetic personality.
You may be conservitive, cautious and practical.
You never hesitate to tackle the most difficult problems.
You should be able to undertake and complete anything.
You will always have good luck in your personal affairs.
You will be advanced socially, without any special effort.
You will be awarded some great honor.
You will be called upon to help a friend in trouble.
You will be fortunate in the opportunities presented to you.
You will be successful in your work.
You will be unusally successful in business.
You will be wise not to seek too much from others.
You will conquer all obstacles and achive success
You will have good luck and overcome many hardships.
You will have many friends when you need them.
You will never hesitate to tackle the most difficult problems.
You will never know hunger
You will pass a difficult test that will make you happier.
You will soon be honored by someone you respect.
You will take a chance in something in the near future.
You will travel far and wide, both for pleasure and business.
Youe winsome smile will be your sure protection.
Your ability to juggle many tasks will take you far
Your determination will bring you much success.
Your happiness is intertwined with your outlook on life.
Your help will be needed in an embarassing situation.
Your ingenuuuity and imagination will get results
Your intuition is excelent but another viewpoint could be helpful
Your life will be happy and peaceful.
Your love life will be happy and Harmonious.
Your luck has been completely changed today
Your mentality is alert, practical and analytical.
Your modesty will shame those with lesser knowledge.
Your principles mean more to you than any money or success.
Your road will be made smooth for you by good friends.
Your talents will be recognised and suitably rewarded.
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